Category: Thoughts

  • Thoughts on Being an Introvert

    Thoughts on Being an Introvert

    As an introvert, I’ve always found myself sidestepping drama. Not because I’m indifferent, but because it’s, quite simply, exhausting. I prefer deep, one-on-one conversations and authentic interactions. Put me in a room buzzing with tension, gossip, or confrontation, and I’ll be searching for the nearest exit. The urge to avoid drama isn’t just a personality quirk; it actually has psychological roots that offer insight into why introverts, like myself, seek out quieter interactions.

    Research on introversion, most notably by psychologists like Carl Jung, points out that introverts are naturally wired for lower levels of stimulation. While extroverts tend to recharge in high-energy settings with lots of social interaction, introverts thrive in calmer environments. In fact, overstimulation can cause introverts’ energy to plummet, which is one reason we shy away from environments with emotional intensity or high-stakes social interactions.

    One 2011 study by researchers Jennifer Grimes, Jonathan Cheek, and Julie Norem found that introverts often experience more intense physiological responses in high-stimulation situations. These responses can be exhausting, especially in settings fraught with interpersonal drama. So, when drama arises, introverts’ aversion isn’t necessarily about disinterest; it’s more about managing energy. Seeking a low-stimulation environment is simply a way to conserve energy and maintain balance.

    For introverts, meaningful interactions are worth their weight in gold. Drama, however, tends to thrive on superficiality—gossip, rumors, petty arguments, and misunderstandings. For introverts who value authenticity, this can feel disingenuous or unproductive. Psychologist Laurie Helgoe, author of Introvert Power, discusses how introverts often find surface-level interactions draining. Conflict, especially when fueled by drama, often lacks the depth introverts find fulfilling. We’re drawn toward connection, yes, but toward a connection that offers substance.

    Introverts also tend to be more introspective, reflecting deeply on their own emotions and those of others. While this heightened empathy is often a strength, it can also become overwhelming in high-emotion situations. Studies show that introverts often possess a high sensitivity to emotional cues, which can mean they’re more affected by the emotional currents around them. Because drama often brings with it a high level of emotional intensity, introverts may instinctively distance themselves to avoid emotional overload.

    This is especially evident when it comes to workplace drama. Research published in The Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology found that people with higher sensitivity to emotional environments often experience higher stress levels in workplaces where drama is frequent. So, for introverts, setting boundaries against drama is a way to protect emotional health and maintain focus, which can be crucial for productivity.

    Finally, introverts’ natural inclination for peace and reflection makes drama even less appealing. As introverts, we need downtime to recharge and process thoughts. Drama disrupts this peace, introducing unnecessary stress and conflict. This isn’t to say introverts avoid conflict altogether—many of us can handle it when necessary, but we tend to prefer calm and thoughtful resolutions over heated exchanges or drawn-out disagreements. According to Helgoe, introverts’ brains are wired for deep thinking and introspection, so maintaining a calm and centered environment is critical to staying mentally balanced.

    Navigating social interactions without drama can be challenging, especially in work or group settings. But setting healthy boundaries and creating spaces for calm are practical ways introverts can maintain balance. Research shows that introverts who practice self-care and limit exposure to highly charged situations tend to report higher satisfaction with their relationships and work.

    In a world that sometimes equates silence with disengagement, it’s worth remembering that introverts’ quieter approach is rooted in a genuine need for peace. It’s not about avoiding relationships but about choosing quality over quantity and depth over superficiality. For introverts, avoiding drama isn’t a weakness; it’s a strength that allows us to stay true to ourselves and foster meaningful connections in our own way.

  • Negativity Bias and Feedback

    Negativity bias is something we all deal with—it’s that tendency to zero in on the negative over the positive. As fair managers, this bias can really shape the kind of feedback we receive from our patrons. People often remember and report what went wrong rather than what went right, and that can paint an incomplete picture of their overall experience. Understanding this dynamic is key to how we evaluate the feedback we get.

    The Connection Between Negativity Bias and Patron Feedback

    When folks come to our fair, they’re excited—they’ve got high expectations for a day full of fun, relaxation, and memory-making. But if something goes awry, like long lines, bad weather, or an unpleasant interaction, that one negative moment can overshadow everything else, thanks to negativity bias. As a result, the feedback we get might lean heavily on the negative, even if most of their experience was positive.

    This means that when we’re sorting through patron feedback, we’re likely to see more detailed and emotional responses to the negative aspects. People might not even mention the great things they enjoyed because that one hiccup sticks out in their memory.

    How I Evaluate Feedback with Negativity Bias in Mind

    1. Spotting Patterns Over Outliers: I focus on identifying recurring issues in the feedback, rather than getting hung up on one-off negative comments. If I notice multiple patrons mentioning the same concern, it’s a sign we need to address something. But if a complaint is an isolated incident, I weigh it against all the positive feedback before making any changes.

    2. Understanding the Context: The context behind the feedback is just as important as the feedback itself. For example, if we had a rainy day, negative comments about that day are likely more about the weather than the fair itself. It’s important to take these external factors into account when evaluating feedback.

    3. Balancing Feedback Sources: I always encourage feedback through various channels—surveys, social media, in-person chats—because each source can provide a different perspective. This helps balance out the negativity bias, as some people might be more inclined to share positive experiences in person or online rather than in a formal survey.

    4. Focusing on Constructive Criticism: Negative feedback isn’t always a bad thing. Constructive criticism can be incredibly valuable for making improvements. I look for feedback that offers suggestions or ideas for how we can do better, rather than just complaints.

    5. Acknowledging and Validating: When responding to negative feedback, I make it a point to acknowledge the patron’s feelings and validate their experience. This not only helps build trust but also gives me a chance to highlight any steps we’re taking to address their concerns. Often, a simple response can turn a negative experience into a positive one by showing that we’re listening and taking action.

    Negativity bias is a reality we can’t ignore, but by being mindful of it, we can better understand and respond to patron feedback. By focusing on patterns, considering context, balancing feedback channels, and valuing constructive criticism, we can make sure we’re making decisions based on a well-rounded view of patron experiences. Ultimately, even negative feedback can be a stepping stone toward creating an even better fair experience for everyone.

  • My Grandfather’s Story

    “Where is our little Orville?” That was the anxious question Ben Fuiten asked of his wife Hattie as he came into the farm house after doing chores. Orville was their first born child and was their pride and joy – a charming lad of just 4 ½ years old. On that 19th day of March, 1915 Hattie had bundled little Orville up with his warm winter clothes, boots, and his hand-knitted mittens that Great Grandmother Carolina Albert had given him for Christmas he was ready to go out in the snow.

    (more…)

  • Dude, where’s my Stoney Tangawizi?

    tangawiziThe best drink in the world is a Stoney Tangawizi. It is like ginger ale and 7-up all mashed together in spicy-sweet goodness. This is a Coke product that you can only get it in Africa, as far as I know. I ordered it every opportunity I had, which was pretty much every day; sometimes several times a day. Mmmmm.

    There is a part of me which thinks it should be available in the comfort of my own home and part of me that thinks it should be kept as a special treat with special memories. I can’t decide.

    Cheers to whomever took this picture. I found it on Google.

  • Have you met my friend Judith?

    Judith Me and Mom

    Today we traversed a crowded dirt street maze. Tuesday morning, September 9 in a suburb of Kampala, Uganda. The local Compassion project coordinator directed us into a dead-end “street” under the eyes of what felt like hundreds of onlookers. I guess they don’t get very many Mzungu (white man) in that area. I am sure it is much like if a van full of Ugandans were to drive into parts of the south-east United States. Needless to say, my three companions and I were the center of attention when we arrived. However, the local Compassion directors are respected so much for what they do with the children of the area that we were completely safe.

    Judith met us at the door of the rented 8 foot by 10 foot, one-room ‘home’ she shares with her mother. It was much nicer than some we visited during the week: it had concrete instead of a dirt floor! There is barely enough room for the two twin beds to line the walls and still have room to walk in. Inside, we sat down on one bed to talk and so that I could give her some gifts. She gave me a drawing and a poem with the promise of many more to follow.

    I could tell right away that she was a little different than others I had seen this week. It was nothing short of providence that she was the only one who met the criteria we were looking for. We really wanted a girl who is close to the age of our own children. She is 13, beautiful and a little precocious. I can’t believe how quickly and well we bonded. Her personality has just enough sarcasm and irony to be endearing. I was completely stunned by how her face lit up when she smiled. That smile will forever be seared into my memory.

    dscn2123Judith’s mother is HIV positive and volunteers at the local clinic. She is not currently working. The father is also HIV positive and abandoned the family some time back. I asked where her father was and she just said he was gone. I understand that it is pretty typical for males to leave their families when they discover their HIV status in order to find a ‘clean woman’. Some of the men still believe that the women are the carriers of the disease and if they find a virgin it will cleanse him of his disease. Miraculously, Judith is not HIV positive. Compassion children who live in HIV infected homes receive regular monitoring and treatment for all family members.

    In the corner of the room was a pile of what looked like beet greens. I asked Judith if she did the cooking in the house. She nodded in the affirmative. I asked,  “What do you call that vegetable?” Her response: “I think I’ll call it Martha.” How freaking funny is that? Totally my kind of humor. I could hang out with this kid.

    The Jug DanceDirectly behind her home, there is a very orchestrated dance that takes place to determine one’s priority at the water well. I don’t think the water coming from this faucet is directly drinkable, but it has far fewer chunks and nasties that some water sources have. As soon as one jug is full, the next one is moved into that position and children move all of the jugs forward.

    There is something about Compassion kids which makes me believe that they can be anything they want to be. Compassion, the sponsors and their local church partners aren’t just providing physical and spiritual support, they provide hope. When Judith says that she wanted to be an author, I fully believe that she could be. Students in America seem to change their desires with whatever whim they have that week. I have a feeling that even though they’re saddled with poverty, these kids stand a better chance of doing whatever they put their mind to than the rich kids in America.

    Time was limited and precious and ended way too soon. I could have easily spent several hours there. No agenda. Just chatting over a Coke or going for a walk.

    It will be interesting to see as time unfolds which of us will be most changed through sponsorship, Judith or I. My (relative) wealth is starkly juxtaposed with her poverty. I felt such a close bond with her and I am honored to be a financial and spiritual partner with her. I am sure that the reason Compassion takes people like me on these vision trips is to create an impact so that we will be able to tell the stories of our trip. Jose Zayas said it best, “We’ll tell their story until they can.”

    Compassion exists to bring children out of poverty: Physical, emotional and spiritual.

  • My Favorite One-liners

    Simply ask my family and friends and you’ll find out that I love one-liners. I love some of them so much that I use them over and over and over. So, I set out on a quest to add more arrows to my quiver. Here are a few that I found which I like:

    • 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
    • 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
    • A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
    • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
    • A closed mouth gathers no foot.
    • A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
    • Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
    • Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
    • Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
    • Boycott shampoo! Demand the real thing!
    • C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
    • Double your drive space. Delete Windows!
    • Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
    • For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
    • For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
    • Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
    • Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
    • Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
    • He who laughs last thinks slowest.
    • How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
    • I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.
    • I won’t rise to the occasion, but I’ll slide over to it.
    • If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
    • If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
    • If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.
    • Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
    • Never mess up an apology with an excuse.
    • Never miss a good chance to shut up.
    • On the other hand, you have different fingers.
    • Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
    • Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
    • The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
    • The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
    • There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.
    • Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
    • You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.